Conversation Is a Survival Skill

My TEDxSanDiego talk, Conversation as a Survival Skill in the 21st Century, went live on October 2. I am grateful for everyone who has watched, shared and written to me since.

The idea at the center of it is simple. We live in the most technologically connected era human beings have ever known, and the most conversationally starved. We have never had more ways to communicate and less practice actually talking to one another.

Communication is broadcasting. Conversation is the harder thing: two people staying present long enough to understand each other, and sometimes to change each other’s minds. Information may make you knowledgeable. Conversation is how you become wise.

In the talk, I offer six promises we can make to one another: to listen, to trust, to honor silence, to assume goodwill, to give each other space, and to respect the doors that do not need opening. None of them requires new technology. All of them are what my grandmother’s generation called home training, knowing how to show up for whatever room you are standing in.

I believe this matters now more than ever. Somewhere in the friction between opposing perspectives, a society begins to decide who it wants to be. That only happens if we stay in the room.

Watch the talk: Conversation as a Survival Skill in the 21st Century

Continue the conversation in person. I will be speaking at the TEDxSanDiego Salon, Half the Sky, on Sunday, October 25, from 2:00 to 5:00 pm at the Kroc School of Peace & Justice, University of San Diego. Salon speakers do not repeat their talks. Instead, we come together for real conversation about the ideas. Details and tickets here.

Until then, my invitation is the one I close the talk with. Don’t text. Call. Let’s just talk.

Inez